Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
