after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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