Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
