We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
