I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
