the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
