Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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