I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
