I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
