Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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