just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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