nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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