So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
