You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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