Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
