mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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