Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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