we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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