There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
