I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
