That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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