She's JV to your varsity
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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