I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's like iHOP with fire
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
