He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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