I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize