No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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