And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize