It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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