Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
