Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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