If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
