areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Someone shit on the floor
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
