but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
