THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
