I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
