remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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