marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
