party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
