Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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