So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
