I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
