dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
