Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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