I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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