the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Floor bacon is actually really good
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
