Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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