I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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