so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
