Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
