Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
