We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
