considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
not ubering you a puppy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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