therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
