I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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