dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
