do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
