I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
