I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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